I have had a very interesting transition in my kinky career as of late. While I have been doing this for over 10 years I am not above growing, learning, and bettering myself. BDSM, Femdom, and kink, in general, are things that I am super passionate about and my experience has formed my outlook on things over the years.

Originally I started out entirely in the real world. I did research, discussed with people, and did everything that I could to make sure that I was respecting what very much is a lifestyle that had a special place in people’s hearts and they took very seriously. I found a leather family and learned from them (and still have contact with, the head of the house often refers subs to me). I participated in play parties, visited dungeon events, and began incorporating BDSM and D/s into my day-to-day relationships.

The start of everything was a very rocky road but taught me so much about myself. Kink became something that I was extremely passionate about but it wasn’t until years later that I ever added anything monetary to it. It hadn’t even occurred to me that was even a fetish until I stumbled upon it on Second Life, a medium that I used to find more kinky, like-minded people.

At first, the idea of receiving money for the exchange of Pro Domme services, or Financial Domination felt too transactional to me. I felt like it would take away the value of Femdom. But, being a curious cat, I did research because I have always found the brain and what makes people tick to be extremely interesting. Understanding why someone would enjoy these kinks fascinated me.

Once I researched it, I began to connect the idea that controlling a man’s money, even taking it from him was an attractive idea. I came to realize that it could be the ultimate form of control and might be a good fit for me. I loved the idea that a man who was serving me was going to work, spending his time to make that money (usually hours) and I could take that time in a matter of minutes if I wanted to. That was a sexy thought. I began to understand the appeal of a sub denying himself the things that he wanted so that I could have the things that I wanted.

I decided to give it a go and try it out using the same place that I had heard about it: Second Life. I think back then I did this slightly out of shame for my own interests. I was very well aware of Findom’s reputation from my research and it wasn’t favorable. I was still very much stuck in the kink-shaming mindset, despite the average BDSM community saying they don’t do this. Second Life was a safe bet as I could make a separate account that didn’t include my face or any other associations to me. I did not know about Twitter Findom until many years later.

In a way, I am glad that I didn’t start on social media. Second Life gave me a pretty safe way to participate, make mistakes and figure out where the kink resonated with me. What I also quickly learned was that everything I had read about it being money given without any expectation in return was an extremely rare experience.

At the very least these subs wanted to see you with their money. They wanted to hear what you were spending it on so they could daydream about it while they struggled, be that a real struggle or not. Seeing this made them feel good and almost every sub wanted to have their Findom paired with another kink. Often this was humiliation in various ways (which I already loved). Sometimes it was cuckolding and other times it involved hardcore sadism (another of my favorites).

Findom allowed me to explore so many kinks that I otherwise may not have and find out that I loved so many things I hadn’t even realized I would. And I was making money doing it. I was loving the fact that I could easily pay my bills doing something that I was already passionate about.

I quickly became one of the most popular FinDommes in Second Life and I made tens of thousands doing it. I formed extremely close dynamics with a handful of subs (most of who still serve me outside of Second Life to this day) and had others that only came to me when they had money to give me. I enjoyed both dynamics.

I did try Twitter but never got the hang of it. I did Niteflirt for a time in addition to Second Life but some personal circumstances made it hard to take calls, take pictures, etc so I stopped doing anything other than Second Life again.

Eventually I did lose my drive. Not because I was falling out of love with the scene but because I was missing the physical aspects of BDSM and Femdom. I missed seeing or even hearing the voice of the person I was playing with. I missed having things outside of pixels and being able to physically display my sensuality and dominance. I guess you could say that I was starting to crave more again.

About a year ago things began to change for me, for the better (though things were never bad, just simply limited to what I could do kink-wise). I inherited the largest Findom community in Second Life, making me responsible for a large group of about 2500 people there, and a Discord group of around 400 from that group with more joining daily. My life circumstances on what I could do kink-wise cleared up as well and, being already removed from my comfort zone, made me decide to branch outside of Second Life again.

I fired up my Niteflirt again since I was very interested in making content, something I had always been interested in. I deleted everything from before (RIP good reviews) and started a LoyalFans account. I began recording content and am experimenting with that based on my experience with certain kinks I’ve come to love. All of this reignited my passion for all of this because while I loved Second Life, the limitations of how far it could extend into my day-to-day life had started to get quite stale as I said.

I also started a new Twitter account, keeping my old one as a backup. I still don’t understand Twitter and it will take time to learn. I’ve never been big into social media. I stopped using it almost as long ago as I started BDSM, but I am willing to learn and willing to grow in that regard. I’ve already made mistakes, which I’ve taken in stride and expected to happen as it always does anytime that you start learning a new platform.

I’ve learned how easy it is to get your account locked as a sex worker (because yes, Pro Dommes and Findommes are both a form of sex work since it deals with kinks). My partner helps me record content from time to time and upon posting a video with him the Twitter bot insta-locked me out of my account, saying that I did not have consent to post that content. A simple appeal solved the issue within 4 days (I had read it could be weeks). I am hoping that alerting Twitter to the fact he consents will keep me from getting locked again, but some content I have decided will always have a consent clause. Especially any containing those that are not him.

I learned that any tweet that a sub puts out is considered a “bait tweet”, regardless of whether it is asking for a woman to spoil (which despite my inexperience in social media, this type of baiting is everywhere), posting an experience they had, or simply trying to engage in conversation about how they see kink.

I also learned, though have found this not at all surprising, that the same cattiness that occurs in Second Life is present in Twitter. I had heard about the “Twitter Sisterhood” but didn’t believe it however, decided to give it a chance. I have very quickly decided (as I did in Second Life) to stay to myself. It is what has always worked for me. Mainly because I do not like drama and I have seen quite a bit of it in my month of being active on Twitter. If there is one thing everything over the years has taught me it’s to be worried about you and yours. No one else.

I figured out the importance of watermarking your content, just in case. I had not been doing so as I hadn’t felt like I was large enough on any platform that I’d posted content to need to. Apparently, that is the wrong answer, so I plan to redo my Twitter and content so that I can add that handy little watermark that I missed.

I am sure that I have a lot more to learn and likely will always be learning. I try to never stop and hold the mindset that there is always a way to do better, always a way to grow.

These are just my rambly little thoughts as I thought a blog would be a fun way to post my outlook on things and give people a way to get to know me better. I figured the best place to start would be my experience and how I got where I am.